Sunday, February 08, 2009

Allow myself to introduce....uhh...myself...

We take ourselves way too seriously.

As a scientist, I one day hope to isolate the genes responsible for making man feel he is the epitome of the universe. And then I will delete them.

Let's face it, we're really not that important. As Douglas Adams once pointed out, if you took the population of organisms in the universe and divided it by the area, you'd get basically zero. We don't even register. And yet, people somehow gain the sense that they are the center of the known universe. Clearly, there are some genes perpetrating a clever biochemical joke here, and I aim to expose this one day. In the meanwhile, I will settle for defeating the physical manifestation of this genetic pathway.

So as the title suggests, I hope to enlighten you, the captivated reader with your sponge-like brain, waiting to soak up information from a learned individual such as myself. Specifically, I'd like to focus on the sciences, and make them more accessible to you, the masses. However, no topic is off-limits, and I will inject my occasionally caustic interjections into my commentary. If I offend in the process, well then, that's kind of the point. For example:

Q: What's the difference between cowboy hats and tampons?
A: Cowboy hats are for ass holes.

This is the sort of enlightening information I wish to provide, and in the manner I wish to present it. No doubt, even now you say to yourself what an eye-opening observation that was, and how much better your life is now that you know it (especially if you are the sort of asshole who wears cowboy hats). So tune in regularly (or irregularly, in this case - I'm not very organized) and watch your IQ increase - or your money back!

No comments: